"When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”
-Tom Robbins (American Novelist. b.1936)
I thought this quote of the day was spot on. Most people will say, "yeah, yeah, of course..." but in practice, it's much harder to do. I think because it's really about developing yourself and getting to know yourself as you grow up. That's a very tall order. I think most of us are under the delusion that we know ourselves -- only to continually be surprised. But that's really the key to happiness. It takes a while, but one day you have to realize that only you can make you happy -- no one else is responsible for that. Which is why it's insane that one of the most "romantic" lines from Jerry Maguire is "You complete me." What a bunch of misleading baloney. No wonder we're all so lost. Relationships are a nice-to-have, they can even be really important (well, one would hope)...but in the end, you gotta be a complete person. That is the hardest thing to do though. Sometimes getting there can take an entire lifetime.
Here's another Tom Robbins quote I like. If only all marriages could work like this:
“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.”
No comments:
Post a Comment